1. Understanding the Relationship Between Anxiety, ADHD, and Overwhelm
Mental overload: our brains have a finite capacity to process information, make decisions, and manage competing demands. If you're constantly trying to do everything and get the most out of yourself then you can very easily become mentally and emotionally overloaded.
ADHD and executive function: people with ADHD will often have problems with task initiation, prioritisation, organisation and sustained attention.
Anxiety and uncertainty: anxiety goes up when you're uncertain about the outcome, when you're worried about making a mistake, when you feel you have to have it all worked out.
The 'perfectionism trap' is the situation where you think that something has to be perfect before you can do it at all. That in turn makes it progressively harder to get started or to finish it.
The anxiety avoidance cycle: when things feel too much to deal with avoidance may give you a momentary sense of relief but it will only serve to reinforce the anxiety and increase the stress you'll experience in the future.
Clinical takeaway:
Feeling like you're overwhelmed doesn't in any way mean that you're not capable of getting it done.
Difficulty in getting going may be a marker of executive function problems, anxiety, emotional avoidance or some combination of the above.
Rather than asking 'why can't I get this done?' ask 'what is it that is making it so difficult and what would help me to take one small step?'
2. Moving From a Perfectionistic Mindset to an Experimental Mindset
Le Cunff (Dr Anne-Laure Le Cunff is the founder of Ness Labs and a UKRI-funded neuroscientist at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience, where she studies the neuroscience of curiosity and its applications to ADHD, AI, mental health, and lifelong learning) …
….. is all about the experimental approach. The idea is to treat life as a series of opportunities to learn rather than as a series of situations in which you have to succeed.
Perfectionistic thinking:
"I need to get this right."
"If I can't do it perfectly then I shouldn't start."
"I need to know exactly how this is going to work out."
"Making a mistake is me failing."
"I should be well on the way by now."
Experimental thinking:
"What can I learn from attempting?"
"I can start small and tweak as I go."
“I don’t need certainty to take action.”
“Mistakes provide information about what works and what doesn’t.”
"Progress is about learning not simply about achieving."
Application to anxiety and ADHD:
Reduce the pressure to get things perfect.
Break down your bigger goals into smaller, achievable experiments.
Focus on getting the job started rather than on finishing everything.
Realize that your approach may need to vary depending on your energy levels, your level of attention and your emotional state.
Practice responding to difficulties in a curious way instead of self-criticism.
Clinical takeaway: The aim isn't to get rid of the mistakes or the discomfort. The aim is to develop greater psychological flexibility in the face of them.
3. Identifying the Three Cognitive Scripts That Influence Our Behavior
Le Cunff identifies three common cognitive scripts: the automatic patterns of thinking which shape our decisions and our behavior.
A. The Sequel Script: “I Have Always Been This Way”
We assume our future must reflect our past.
Previous struggles become part of how we define ourselves.
We may well be in the position of resisting the attempt at a new approach simply because we expect the same old results.
Examples involving ADHD and anxiety:
“I’ve always procrastinated, so I’ll never be organized.”
“I've had anxiety right through my life so I'll always steer clear of uncomfortable situations.'“I’ve failed at routines before, so there’s no point in trying again.”
Healthier alternative:
Your past experience gives you information but it doesn't in any way determine your future.
Previous strategies may have failed as they weren't the right ones for you.
You can play around with various tactics without having to change everything at once.
Reflection: Am I making this decision because that's what I want at this moment, or am I making it because of what my past tells me about me?
B. The Crowd-Pleaser Script: “I Need to Meet Everyone’s Expectations”
We make decisions on the basis of what others expect rather than what is in accord with our own values.
We might prioritize approval over our own needs.
Fear of letting anyone down can be a major contributor to anxiety, overcommitment and difficulty in creating boundaries.
Examples:
Saying yes to the responsibilities even if you're already feeling overwhelmed.
Avoiding the difficult conversation as someone might get upset.
Comparing your own productivity or achievements to those of others.
Feeling guilty when you need to rest or have some extra time
Recognize that other people’s expectations don't automatically become your responsibilities.
Practice identifying your own needs and your own values.
Develop the ability to tolerate others' disappointment without necessarily jumping in to fix it.
Reflection: Am I doing it because it matters to me or am I doing it because I'm scared of letting someone down?
C. The Epic Script: “Everything I Do Must Be Significant”
We think success must be about major achievements.
Minor accomplishments feel insufficient.
We might well generate unrealistic expectations which in turn lead to overwhelm and avoidance.
Examples involving ADHD and anxiety:
Believing that exercise means signing up for an intense daily regimen.
Thinking that becoming organized requires completely restructuring your life.
Feels like a productive day has to be one where you've ticked everything off your to-do list.
Abandoning goals when progress appears too slow.
Healthier alternative:
Substantial progress doesn't need to be dramatic.
Small consistent actions can be very valuable.
Success can involve learning, connection, enjoyment, and self-improvement.
Reflection: What would this goal look like if I just allowed it to be smaller, simpler and more manageable?
4. Learning to Tolerate Uncertainty Rather Than Trying to Eliminate It
Anxiety is all about trying to predict and control the future.
The need for certainty can lead to overthinking, the constant quest for reassurance, excessive planning and avoidance.
Unfortunately, you can sometimes worsen anxiety by trying to remove uncertainty.
The experimental mindset is one of viewing uncertainty as something you can deal with rather than something you have to get rid of.
Practical strategies:
Identify what's in your control and what's not.
Practice making sensible decisions even if you don't have all the answers.
Recognize when additional planning is helpful versus when it becomes avoidance.
Allow yourself to be uncertain and at the same time take manageable action.
Evaluate situations based on what actually occurs instead of purely on what you dread may occur.
Clinical takeaway: Confidence doesn't necessarily stem from knowing what's going to happen. It can be built up through the experience of learning that you can cope and respond appropriately even when you don't know what the outcome will be.
5. Understanding Procrastination as Information
Rather than just seeing procrastination as a case of laziness or a lack of discipline we should perhaps look at what it might be telling us about our experience.
For someone with ADHD and anxiety, procrastination may involve:
Executive dysfunction: difficulty with organisation, getting started and switching from one task to another.
Fear of failure: avoiding something because the consequence of failure feels so personally significant.
Perfectionism: feeling you can't start at all without having a perfectly clear (or ideally conceived) plan.
Emotional avoidance: putting off the task that's going to be emotionally difficult, frustrating or uncertain.
Mental overload: being faced with so many competing demands that you can't work out where to start.
Task mismatch: Struggling with a task because the strategy, environment, or level of support is not appropriate.
Instead of asking: “Why am I being lazy?”
Try asking:
“What emotion comes up when I think about starting?”
"Is this task confusing, daunting, boring or off-putting in any way?"
"Am I dodging the task or the feelings that go with it?"
“What would make getting started easier?”
"What is the smallest action I can take at this very moment?"
Clinical takeaway: Procrastination is an opportunity to look at the barriers and figure out what kind of support is appropriate, rather than just kicking yourself.
6. Using Emotional Cognition to Guide Action
Emotions are information and should be recognized as such rather than as experiences which have to be dealt with or eradicated straight away.
Emotions can help us understand our needs, concerns, and reactions.
Anxiety may be a signal that we're anticipating some uncertainty or that we perceive a threat.
Frustration may be a sign that something is difficult, ineffective or inconsistent with what we expect.
Overwhelm can be a sign that you need to simplify, prioritise and/or get some support.
Disappointment may show what matters to us.
A practical emotional consciousness exercise:
Notice: What am I feeling right now?
Name: Is this anxiety, frustration, shame, disappointment, or overwhelm?
Understand: what might this emotion be conveying?
Evaluate: Is there something actionable within my control?
Respond: What small, constructive action could I take?
Example:
Situation: You've got loads on your plate and can't work out where to start.
Emotion: Anxiety and overwhelm.
Interpretation: "I've got far too much on my plate, and I'm afraid I'll never get it all done."
Actionable response: Identify one priority, break it into smaller steps, and begin with a five-minute action.
Clinical pearl: Emotions are real experiences, they don't necessarily tell us what to do. We can be aware of our emotions and still make a choice about how we respond.
7. Replacing Rigid Goals With Small Experiments
Rather than making big commitments which could be quite daunting, Le Cunff would have us do a series of small experiments which in turn will help us to discover what works.
For people with ADHD and anxiety, examples include:
Task initiation: experiment at working for five minutes rather than committing to working on the whole project.
Organization: Just try one simple organisational strategy for a week rather than attempting to completely rework your entire system.
Anxiety regulation: Learn to tolerate a small degree of uncertainty without the requirement for prompt reassurance.
Regulation of emotions: Take two minutes to name and label the emotion before you respond.
Perfectionism: Complete a low-stakes task to a “good enough” standard and observe what happens.
Social anxiety: Practice expressing one genuine preference rather than automatically going along with everyone else.
Self compassion: simply replace one self critical statement per day with a more balanced version.
The objective is to get the information, not to demonstrate your value.
After an experiment, ask:
What worked?
What was difficult?
What did I learn?
What could I have changed next time?
8. Developing Mindful Productivity
DISPUTE the notion that productivity is only about how much you get done
Traditional productivity mindset:
Focuses on output and achievement.
Encourages raising efficiency.
May overlook mental health.
Can contribute to burnout when expectations become unrealistic.
Mindful productivity mindset:
Recognizes the relationship between psychological health and performance.
Encourages awareness of energy, attention, and personal needs.
Stresses deliberate action rather than constant activity.
Allows flexibility when circumstances change.
Values sustainable progress rather than perfection.
ADHD-specific applications:
Use external aids in the form of reminders, timers and visual task lists.
Do a few important things rather than trying to keep a massive to-do list.
Build flexibility into routines.
Acknowledge that levels of attention and motivation can vary.
Assess productivity on the basis of significant involvement and progress rather than just the number of tasks completed.
9. Five Practical Takeaways to Apply Daily
Replace perfectionism using curiosity. Rather than having to get it all spot on, just focus on finding out what works.
Recognize automatic thinking patterns. Notice when your decisions are driven because of past experiences, others’ expectations, or unrealistic standards.
Practice tolerating uncertainty. You don't need to have complete certainty before you take meaningful action.
Use emotions as information. Identify what you are experiencing, understand what may be contributing, and determine what is actionable.
Prioritize small experiments over dramatic changes. Sustainable progress develops through trying, learning, adjusting, and trying again.
